Drugs, Sex, & Lies
by Funk Masters Chow and Chung
Summary: ONESHOT. Perverted, disgusting, and creepy some of you might find this appealing... WARNING: Some material may not be suitable for children under the age of thirteen. Bwa ha ha!


**Drugs, Sex, & Lies**

"**Miroku's going to love this," Kagome said, as she packed away the small bottle. Earlier that day Kagome had gone out to her favorite alleyway with a bench not completely covered in gum, and had met up with Raphael. He had always been a reliable drug dealer. You wouldn't notice from Kagome's appearance but she was on the hard stuff. I mean, come on, who's that happy all the time without a little pick me up if you know what I'm saying. Anyway, returning to the story.**

**He had given her a small bottle of Roofies for Miroku. He had been trying to come up with a way to convince Sango to have his child. She was so stubborn he had no choice but to do it while she was partially unconscious.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Miroku looked at the small orange prescription bottle in his hand. He was going to use it tonight. Inuyasha and Kagome had been apart for three days so he knew that they would be plenty busy all night, if you catch my drift. He looked over at Kagome.**

"**Are you sure these will work?"**

**Kagome gave him a dazed look. He could tell she was thinking about her impending night with Inuyasha, "What?..yeah,there's no doubt about it. She will be yours for the entire twelve hours."**

"**Ok," he said, and watched her walk off towards Inuyasha's forest. **

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Later that night Miroku walked into the small hut. Sango was lying on a mat resting her sore muscles from the battle the previous day. He approached her cautiously.**

"**Sango, I thought you could use one of these remedies from Kagome's era. Your shoulder seems to be hurting you a lot," he said, passing her a small pill.**

"**No thanks. I think its okay now. Hey… wait a minute, these are…" a look of disgust passed over her features, but then turned into a sly smirk. "Miroku, if you wanted to get me in bed why didn't you just ask?"**

**Miroku was totally shocked by this new side of Sango. "Well… I thought that….you know, you wouldn't…"**

"**Don't be silly. I love you Miroku," she said, slightly blushing.**

**He lunged for her and landed on top of her. They greedily started ripping off each others clothes, exploring every curve and crevice. Miroku regrettably got off of Sango's now naked body, while he removed his undergarments. She opened her arms and they fell together once again. His slid into her almost effortlessly. They were a perfect match, the perfect fit. Sango moaned under his weight. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her hands onto his bare back. She dug her nails into his flesh while he began kissing her body going further and further down until he reached her navel.**

"**Kami, I love you Sango," he said between the movements.**

"**I love you too Miroooooku!" she shrieked as she climaxed. The pleasure of the moment enveloped her and they fell into a state of complete ecstasy.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**The next morning Sango was awakened by Miroku caressing her cheek.**

"**Good morning," he said eyes hazy.**

"**Good morning to you too," she said, a small smile touching the corners of her lips. **

"**Sango!"**

"**Miroku!"**

**The shouts came from outside the hut. It was Kagome telling them it was time to go. They got up and enjoyed dressing each other. They emerged from the hut, smiles on both their faces.**

"**What the hell is up with you guys?" Inuyasha asked.**

**Kagome smiled knowingly, "Nothing you need to worry about."**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Several weeks later they returned to Kaede's village. Sango had been feeling sick and kept vomiting all over the forest; never managing to keep a meal down.**

"**Kaede, I don't know what's wrong with me. I've never been sick for this long."**

"**Ye need your rest. I will tend to ye in a moment. I need to speak with Miroku," Kaede replied, gesturing for Sango to go inside. Kagome and Inuyasha left them alone as well.**

"**Miroku, I think I know what is wrong with Sango."**

"**What? Can you cure her?" Miroku asked, the confusion evident on his face.**

"**This question may be hard for you to answer but bear with me. Have you and Sango engaged in any sexual activities in the past month?"**

"**Uh…" Miroku's face was completely red.**

"**Ah, I see. Well then, this should be moderately good news for you. Sango is not sick and it should fade in the next couple of months. She is pregnant, Miroku."**

**Miroku just stared at the old woman.**

_**Pregnant? but how…wait, that's a stupid question…I'm not ready to father a child am I?**_

"**Miroku?" Kaede said, staring at the young monk's blank face, "I thought ye would take this better."**

"**Oh... uh. It's great. I just have to go uh…. Do something…right- right now" he said, and then quickly ran off in the direction of the stream.**

"**Young people these days. Never think before they act.**

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**_A/N:_**

**_It was 1:00 AM and apparently I brought out the "Nasty Side" in Funk Master Chung. We are ashamed, however, this was probably the funnest fanfic so far; we are perverted teenagers... damn hormones. We don't plan on any other creepy or disgusting stories like this one appearing under our good names._**

**_Funk Master Chung's Thoughts: You may find some creepy stories under my name. not nast, but creepy. Hee hee..._**

**_On a side note: We dont know how the "lies"part appeared in the title, it just sounds better that way..._**


End file.
